Tuesday, December 12, 2006

My love story .. " I love you "

She came only in the middle of my life. What she did to me is enormous . She has been the source of inspiration for me. She is beautiful. I owe a lot to her for what little I have achieved till this date. I love her so much.

When she came to me? I still remember the exact date and timing . It was one of the ordinary evenings in my college campus. I was trodding around Jobless. My friends have left. I stayed back for no reason. Perhaps it was better I did not have a reason. I met her. She wore a black dress and later she told me that it was her favourite colour. It was a wonderful moment. I felt I lived till then for that moment. I immediately fell in love with her.

I told my friends. Some cheered.Some cautioned. All of them were happy to know that Iam in Love. I knew that, what I had fallen into, has the magic of making me insensitive to the present world. I was on a high and I liked it. It was very special. Did I tell her my love ? Should I tell now or later ? I was only a fresher. What if she says no. I cannot bear that. I turned to my friends for opinion. Some asked me to wait. Some told me to go ahead and tell.

I enjoyed the period of trance. She looked more beautiful as days went by. Though I did not tell her my love, I was speaking to her on occassions and it helped my dreams during days and nights. One day I spoke to her the whole night. It was unforgettable.And then this happened. I knew this would happen. My friends told her about My love. Should it happen this way? I should have told her directly. I donot know. It is good and Bad to have someone expressing on your behalf. I prayed god daily that I should get positive response from her. I was insensitive to my Family and other commitments. I wanted her Badly.

What did she say? She said NO. I was shattered. She told that I had poor English, I was wearing spectacles, I was conservative in my thinking, immature and so many. I did not want reasons. I wanted her love. She gave only reasons.

What should I do know ? Should I leave her and look out for some other Love ? Can I forget her? Shall I try once more. Try and Impress her. Can I win her ? She did so many things to me. I got good grades and started dressing well becasue of her. I became more assertive and confident because of her.Some saw it as a boost to my life. Some did not felt so. Seconds went like years without her. I decided to keep on loving her till she does.My friends said that she is not all life.They asked me to concentrate on other things. I did not listen.

Our College tour came. She came for the tour. I thought she would speak to me during the tour.She did not.She spoke to every other guy and I was down and out. I cried almost on every night of the tour. I thought of speaking to her some time in the tour. I could not.

Time is the best healer, as they say, it was true in my case. Soon after my college ended I got a job and work ate my dreams. I slowly lost the memories and soon it was out. I was both happy and sad. Happy because more time with friends and family. Sad because Iam not hearing her voice anymore. Deep inside I wanted to talk to her for life time.As years went I became more rational and mature. Some how I felt, if I shape myself the way she wants, I will win her. I developed my english, got more expansive in my thinking and became more equipped to win and conquer her.
Is that enough ? She raised the benchmarks every time I improved. I found it difficult to catch up.She raised standards every time. I tried hard and wanted to win her badly.She was elusive.The catch up game continued.
I started to understand the design. The happiness I get out of the love with her lies not at the end but, in the process,in the means of attaining her love. Each and every effort I make to win her love gave me happiness. I soon found out that entire happiness lies in the catch up game. What should I do now ? I decided to play the catch up game forever without giving up.
Every day,She threws up new challenges. She gives me new insights and makes me emotionally stornger and more rationale. She enjoys the catch up game too.
She raises the standards every time I grew. I knew there is no limit to her standards and I did not bother to know what is the limit if it had existed . If there is a limit, that ends the catch up games, so to my happiness. She is boundless.
I know most people love her. She goes along with every one, laughs,cries,criticises,praises,advices,hugs everyone of them. She guides everyone, throws up future challenges and illustrates present day miseries. She is the lamp of life for people like me. Hope you know her. Don't you?.Let me tell you. She is "the books we read".
There are no limits upon the kinds of materials that can be put between covers, or how those materials can be arranged inside her. You can get anything under the earth from her.She is an inspirational tool for the future.We share our knowledge through books.Our friends introduce us books and it is the starting point of building up the habit. But of late she is dying. There are many reasons why she is dying. I donot want her to die. Some cure must treat it back to life. I want to play the catch up game eternally with her. Will you Join us ?