Tuesday, December 12, 2006

My love story .. " I love you "

She came only in the middle of my life. What she did to me is enormous . She has been the source of inspiration for me. She is beautiful. I owe a lot to her for what little I have achieved till this date. I love her so much.

When she came to me? I still remember the exact date and timing . It was one of the ordinary evenings in my college campus. I was trodding around Jobless. My friends have left. I stayed back for no reason. Perhaps it was better I did not have a reason. I met her. She wore a black dress and later she told me that it was her favourite colour. It was a wonderful moment. I felt I lived till then for that moment. I immediately fell in love with her.

I told my friends. Some cheered.Some cautioned. All of them were happy to know that Iam in Love. I knew that, what I had fallen into, has the magic of making me insensitive to the present world. I was on a high and I liked it. It was very special. Did I tell her my love ? Should I tell now or later ? I was only a fresher. What if she says no. I cannot bear that. I turned to my friends for opinion. Some asked me to wait. Some told me to go ahead and tell.

I enjoyed the period of trance. She looked more beautiful as days went by. Though I did not tell her my love, I was speaking to her on occassions and it helped my dreams during days and nights. One day I spoke to her the whole night. It was unforgettable.And then this happened. I knew this would happen. My friends told her about My love. Should it happen this way? I should have told her directly. I donot know. It is good and Bad to have someone expressing on your behalf. I prayed god daily that I should get positive response from her. I was insensitive to my Family and other commitments. I wanted her Badly.

What did she say? She said NO. I was shattered. She told that I had poor English, I was wearing spectacles, I was conservative in my thinking, immature and so many. I did not want reasons. I wanted her love. She gave only reasons.


What should I do know ? Should I leave her and look out for some other Love ? Can I forget her? Shall I try once more. Try and Impress her. Can I win her ? She did so many things to me. I got good grades and started dressing well becasue of her. I became more assertive and confident because of her.Some saw it as a boost to my life. Some did not felt so. Seconds went like years without her. I decided to keep on loving her till she does.My friends said that she is not all life.They asked me to concentrate on other things. I did not listen.

Our College tour came. She came for the tour. I thought she would speak to me during the tour.She did not.She spoke to every other guy and I was down and out. I cried almost on every night of the tour. I thought of speaking to her some time in the tour. I could not.

Time is the best healer, as they say, it was true in my case. Soon after my college ended I got a job and work ate my dreams. I slowly lost the memories and soon it was out. I was both happy and sad. Happy because more time with friends and family. Sad because Iam not hearing her voice anymore. Deep inside I wanted to talk to her for life time.As years went I became more rational and mature. Some how I felt, if I shape myself the way she wants, I will win her. I developed my english, got more expansive in my thinking and became more equipped to win and conquer her.
Is that enough ? She raised the benchmarks every time I improved. I found it difficult to catch up.She raised standards every time. I tried hard and wanted to win her badly.She was elusive.The catch up game continued.
I started to understand the design. The happiness I get out of the love with her lies not at the end but, in the process,in the means of attaining her love. Each and every effort I make to win her love gave me happiness. I soon found out that entire happiness lies in the catch up game. What should I do now ? I decided to play the catch up game forever without giving up.
Every day,She threws up new challenges. She gives me new insights and makes me emotionally stornger and more rationale. She enjoys the catch up game too.
She raises the standards every time I grew. I knew there is no limit to her standards and I did not bother to know what is the limit if it had existed . If there is a limit, that ends the catch up games, so to my happiness. She is boundless.
I know most people love her. She goes along with every one, laughs,cries,criticises,praises,advices,hugs everyone of them. She guides everyone, throws up future challenges and illustrates present day miseries. She is the lamp of life for people like me. Hope you know her. Don't you?.Let me tell you. She is "the books we read".
There are no limits upon the kinds of materials that can be put between covers, or how those materials can be arranged inside her. You can get anything under the earth from her.She is an inspirational tool for the future.We share our knowledge through books.Our friends introduce us books and it is the starting point of building up the habit. But of late she is dying. There are many reasons why she is dying. I donot want her to die. Some cure must treat it back to life. I want to play the catch up game eternally with her. Will you Join us ?

10 comments:

Avinash Sekar said...

:-)

She had also taught you to put down things the way you wish would please her, but i bet its still a long way to go...

siva said...

mani.... true ..you are shattered when you are refused the love you desired for... but is it true that its her fault.... it all sums up to how you interpret anything... and in this case... you know.... still you have gained much from those "standards" that you are talking about..which she is fixing... only that has brought you to where you are now.... i know you for almost two years... and there has been changes in you almost daily... the mani today may be suitable for what that girl expected from you 3 years back... but now you have to rethink... she is now out of limits... dont you think it is time for you to go ahead and think about changing yourself for your "future girl", who most probably will be selected by your parents....
Mani,... i know what i have written... it is not at all coherent ...or it may look like that for some other blogger... but i know you could comprehend what im trying to say......

Anonymous said...

:-)

Anonymous said...

:-)

Anonymous said...

keep continue your love never hate her.she is your strengh and future and success...all the best

Aruna Sashikumar said...

Do u think ppl become mature by reading? (Guess its all figurative, if not plz recommend some books for me... )

Vijay said...

One cannot get all that he wishes for in his life.there are more important things in life than love.love everyone and hate none.
life will be sweet if we start living to make happiness around us

Anonymous said...

athu eppidi ra book ellaam tour ku vanthathu and book ellaru kitta pesunathu?

thiagu said...

never love anything. rather master it. for example you master the art of reading, you master the art of speaking, you master the art of playing tt, you master seducing girls,etc. never have an 'athos' like attitude. live like 'aramis'.

Anonymous said...

Reading books is a struggle for me.

That struggle, with desire, has taught me to appreciate the importance of being able to sit and read for an hour.

Many, for whom it comes more easily, fail to appreciate their fortune.